SPARKAGE
By
Kim Strattford
Chris
Kelly looked at the caller id on her phone and sighed before picking it up.
"Hey, Ellen."
"Larry
just told me you broke up with Luke. Sis, what the hell?"
Chris
reached into the kitchen cabinet she'd turned into her personal bar and pulled
out her favorite rye. "What the hell what?" She put the phone on
speaker as she poured the rye over ice.
"I
didn't introduce you to him so you could break his heart. Larry works with the
guy."
"They're
on totally different floors." She sat in her favorite chair, kicked off
her shoes, and took a long, fortifying sip of her drink.
"They
grab lunch all the time. Talk sports the way Larry likes. It's going to be
awkward." Ellen sighed, and it was the sigh of this not being the first
set-up that had gone badly. "What did he do wrong?
Finally,
Chris said, "He didn't do anything wrong. He asked me to go with him to
his brother's wedding."
"So,
go."
"No.
It's the family—his family, as in meeting of same.
As in they'll think I'm his girlfriend. I just don't—I just don't like
him that way."
"But
he's so nice. And he's a lawyer. A good provider."
Chris
looked around her condo that was located on a high floor, smack in the middle
of the highly sought after Reston Town Center. The furniture was amazing, the
electronics plentiful, the eclectic art expensive, and the booze top
shelf—or as top shelf as she could get from the Virginia ABC stores. And
she'd bought it all for herself from money earned by
working long hours and moving up steadily at the IT firm she worked at. "I'm a good provider, Sis. Or have you
forgotten?"
"But..."
Ellen sighed again, even more dramatically if that was possible. "Don't you
ever want to not work? Take time off and have kids?"
"You're
doing that for both of us. I have Tyler and Mia to be the coolest aunt ever
for. So much more fun for them, for you, and for me." She sighed.
"Look, Luke was a sweet guy. But...we just didn't have much in common. And
the spark...it wasn't there."
"You
didn't even sleep with him. How do you know if it was there or not?"
"Because
I didn't want to sleep with him?" And she'd slept with her share—she
knew what real sparkage felt like. And Ellen knew that.
"Is
this about Kirk Mitchell? Put that candle out, Chris. You know he's not
available."
Chris
rued the day she'd ever thought telling her sister about her impossible crush
on the guy in the next office was a good idea. And that had been five years
ago. She'd moved on. Kirk hadn't needed to. He'd been with someone. Not that he
was that guy—the one who played
around but never left the woman he had at home. He'd never done anything to
make her think he wanted to cheat—they'd just had...
Sparkage.
Chemistry up the wazoo. However you wanted to say it.
She'd felt like someone turned on an electric current when she was around him.
He was a few years older than she was. Tall and solid, with sandy hair that
bleached out in the sun and made his hazel eyes look less brown and more
green—good looking, for sure, but it wasn't the physical that had snared
her.
He
got her. Her love of sci fi and urban fantasy—and
equally strong hatred of high fantasy. Her devotion to
comic books. Her preference for straight talk over
games both in romance and work. And her love of
whiskey. She'd shared more than one drink with him as they'd kicked back
after a long day in his or her office and just...talked.
Other
than lunches out—usually with others—talk had been all they'd done.
And then he was transferred to Phoenix, off to bigger and better things, which
was no surprise because he was as competent as he was fun to be around. She'd
hugged him at his goodbye party, and he'd held on a little longer than maybe
was normal.
And
then he was gone.
She
realized Ellen was saying something. "What?"
"I
said that I think you should call Luke and tell him you'll go."
"I
despise weddings." That was true. She hated being a single woman relegated
to the "leftovers" table. But she also didn't like taking someone
just to have a date—that felt so...fake to her. If she'd gone with Luke,
she'd have known it was fake but he'd have thought it
was real. If he'd really understood that nothing was going to happen for them,
she might have said yes.
"I
know all about your bizarre wedding phobia, but please? Do it for me?"
She
closed her eyes. This was how this whole thing started. Her
wanting to please her big sister. No matter how unlikely the guy Ellen
had found for her. She needed to stop saying yes to her. "No. I ended it.
What little there was to end. He wanted more. I
didn't. Moving on."
"Oh,
if only." There was a sad note to Ellen's voice; the note that in childhood
meant she understood she wasn't going to win this argument.
"I
love you for caring."
"I
love you even if you're an idiot."
"Not
an idiot, El." She laughed and leaned back. "Are you okay? Other than
having your matchmaking plans ruined?"
"Yep.
The holidays are over for another year."
"Well,
this set of holidays." Her sister pretty much decorated year round. And
she'd taken over hosting family meals back in their twenties, when their
parents died, their mother of cancer, their father half a year later from a
heart attack. It had hurt like hell losing them both so close together. Now,
this was the new normal—and Ellen seemed obsessed with getting her
settled down with a guy, and it had only gotten worse since she turned thirty.
"Listen,
I just got home and I need some me time. Talk later?"
"Yeah,
you'll be getting lots of that. Fun spring for you coming up—all
alone."
"It's
only January."
"Uh
huh. January turns to spring very fast. Your walks in the Town Center are going
to be lonely ones."
"Hanging
up now." She ended the call before her sister could think up a retort.
##
As
she walked through the office, taking in all the roses and hearts spilling over
desks, she decided maybe Ellen was right about it being a lonely spring.
Although it was only Valentine's Day and at the moment it was still winter here
in the D.C. suburbs.
Actually,
there wasn't really a spring in D.C. Winter and summer just fought over which
would hold the remote until summer finally took over at some point between
April and May.
But
that didn't mean she wasn't kind of lonely. Luke hadn't tried to get her back.
Maybe he understood she wasn't going to change her mind on this. She sort of
wished she missed him—life with him would be easy. But easy wasn't what
she was looking for.
Trouble
was, no one else was really appealing to her right now either.
Like
generally happened when she was considering her romantic future, her thoughts
circled back to Kirk. It sucked when your benchmark for the perfect guy was
unavailable.
She
forced herself to stop thinking of him, to focus on how pretty the flowers
were, how nice they smelled. When she got to her lovely corner office, she
smiled at her assistant's huge bouquet of red roses. "Nice. Natasha did
good."
Marina
smiled. "You should see the ones I got her. We're having a war to see who
can win VD."
She
laughed. "And that's exactly how I'll think of it now."
Marina
grinned. "That skeezy guy from contracts was nosing around. The one who
keeps asking you out for drinks? I think he wanted to see if you had flowers
from anyone."
She
groaned. "At least he didn't send any." She glanced into her office.
"He didn't send any, did he?"
"Nope.
You're safe." Marina followed her into the office. "Mister Gutierrez
called a meeting at two. In his office, not the conference room."
"Did
he say what about?" Her boss usually gave her a heads-up if it was
something she wasn't ready for. She'd had no emails when she checked at
breakfast or just now, riding up in the elevator.
"He
didn't. Do you want me to call Sophia?" She had the look that said the
executive assistants really ran the place—and many days she was right.
"No.
I'll find out when I get up there." She trusted Hector not to blindside
her. She'd been his hire after all, way back when. He tended to want to make
her look good, not sabotage her.
The
day was filled with meetings and she only had to feel the pangs of "Could
have been me" when she walked through the cubicles, seeing the reminders
of this fest to Cupid and all things gooey love.
No—she
couldn't let herself get bitter. Yes, Valentine's Day sucked for the single.
But settling for someone you didn't really love just to get some roses and
chocolates would bite even more.
She
could buy her own roses and she liked chocolates from an awesome chocolatier in
Chicago, not from the grocery store. She doubted Luke would have known to get
them for her—wouldn't have understood what made them special. What guy
would? Milk or dark was about as sophisticated as most of them seemed to get.
Just
before two, she headed up to Hector's office. It was an even bigger corner
officer than hers, big enough to have a large table and also a sitting area.
She smiled at Hector, who was at his desk, but then stopped in the doorway:
Kirk was sitting on the couch.
Hector
grinned. "Look who's back."
She
grinned at him, then at Kirk. "Wow. Long time."
His
grin was warmer than she remembered—and it had been warm in her memories.
"Very long time."
Hector
pushed away from the terminal, turning to give them both his full attention.
"I told you I was getting a quick replacement for Mark." Mark, a fellow department head, who'd been unceremoniously fired
two weeks ago for being a gigantic screw-up. Half his staff had thrown a
"wheels up" happy hour—although she wasn't supposed to know
about that. The other half were probably wondering if
they were next on the chopping block.
"You're
going to be working here?" In her city and building? On her floor, even?
She knew her grin was growing ridiculously.
"Yep."
"Can
you fill him in on some of his dicier personnel issues? I would but I have a
meeting upstairs."
"Of
course."
Hector
got up, grabbing his pad and coffee mug. "I warned him Mark left him a
mess, but I'm not sure he believes me. He'll believe me when he sees how much
travel he's going to have to do to calm down Mark's clients." He patted
Kirk on the shoulder. "Glad you're on board, man." Then he was off.
"You'll
be living in L.A. Patting hands and making them feel special. Mark left behind
a failing project and tattered relationships."
Kirk
made a "What have I gotten into?" face, but then his smile returned,
smaller this time—more professional for dealing with a fellow department
head—but extending to his eyes. They were...tender. "So, give me the
skinny?"
"Right.
This way." She led him to her office, introduced him to Marina, and
motioned him into her office, closing the door as he sat.
They
talked business for a while, and he was shaking his head once he realized the
magnitude of crap he'd been dealt. "I'll never be here, will I?"
"Kind
of ironic. Move here and then spend all your time
there." Less fun for her. She'd thought he be
around more. But he'd get this cleared up and then he'd be around to shoot the
shit with.
"Really
ironic." He leaned back and seemed to be studying her office.
"Checking
to see if it's bigger than yours?" She laughed softly.
"Seeing
if you have any roses or cards or candy from a sweetheart." He made a sad
face. "I don't see any. No Valentines for Chrissy."
"You
know I hate that name. And I don't see how this is your business. I mean
Heather made the move with you, right?"
"Heather
did not make the move with me. Heather and I are...kaput." He smiled but
it was a shaky expression. "Can your love life be my business now?"
"You're...single?"
He
nodded but again the gesture wasn't totally committed—not like he was
trying to snow her, more like he wasn't entirely sure he believed it. "Are
you?"
"I
am. Is that...interesting to you?"
"That
may be the most interesting thing I've heard all day."
They
were both grinning like idiots, and she tried to dial it back some. "I'm
really glad you're here."
"I'm
really glad I'm here, too." He glanced at her clock. "Crap. I have a
meeting. I'd rather stay and talk."
"Business
before pleasure."
"Yep."
He turned when he got to the door. "Do you want to get dinner
tonight?"
"It's
VD."
He
looked confused, and bit concerned.
She
laughed. "Valentine's Day—all the restaurants are going to be full
of lovebirds."
"I'll
brave it if you will." He studied her as if he wasn't sure she would.
"We could go to the mall. There's the food court if all the restaurants
are full, and you can help me pick out furniture. Heather kept most of our
stuff." There was no doubt when he said that; it was clear he didn't
expect to get his stuff back.
"Sure.
That'll work."
"I'll
swing by around six?"
"Sounds
good."
He
got up then turned, staring at her for a long moment. "Have I said that
I'm so, so, so glad you're here?"
"Back
at you."
He
grinned and hurried out.
Marina
lost no time in hurrying in. "Uhhh, spill?"
She
tried to keep her expression casual. "Friend from one of my first
assignments here. Before your time."
"Sexy
friend?"
"Marina,
we're not having this conversation." She rolled her eyes.
"Why
not? You know I'll worm it out of you eventually." She tapped her
fingernail on her watch like it was just a matter of time. Which it probably was.
"He
was with someone the last time we were in the same city. He really is just a
friend."
"I
come from a long line of women with the sight. I can say with assurance, I
think that whole friend thing's about to change." She pointed at her
terminal. "I didn't just come in here to pry into your private life. I
just sent you something you should see. Through my special channels." She
grinned. She loved being the bearer of the strategically timed heads-up.
"You
and your channels are my hero."
"And
then there's this." Marina handed her a little purple box: chocolates from
her favorite place.
Chris
felt a rush of regret; these were incredibly expensive. "You should not
have."
"Oh,
stow it. They sent it as a freebie since I bought the huge VD tower thing for
Natasha. Remember I asked you where you buy candy?" She glanced
impatiently at the box. "There are two in there. Open that up so we can
eat them."
Laughing,
she tore off the cellophane and opened the box. Two truffles sat, one dark and one milk. "Dibs on the dark," she said, since it
was her gift, after all.
"Fine
with me. I like milk."
They
held them up and clinked them softly like they were drinks, then ate.
"Oh
my God, these are good." Marina moaned and closed her eyes, the way she
did whenever she really liked something.
"Mmmmmm
mmmmm," was all Chris managed to get out.
"All
right, back to work, you slacker."
"Thank
you." She was touched that Marina had thought of her when she could have
kept the truffles all for herself.
"Couldn't
let you have a candy-free VD, now could I? Especially when these chocolates are
going to guarantee I win the day."
"What
do you get for winning?"
Marina
smirked. "Wouldn't you like to know?"
The
rest of the afternoon passed in the usual dance of meetings and memos. It was six
before she realized it, and Kirk was standing at the door. "Ready?"
"I
am." She gathered her stuff and rode down to the parking garage with him,
taking the lead in her car so he could follow her since she knew the best place
to park at the mall—a little oasis where there was always parking close
in, even on Valentine's night.
They
hurried in out of the cold, and she took in all the hearts and flowers
plastered over the mall displays as she walked with him down the main corridor.
"This holiday is one hell of a moneymaker."
"That
it is. So many expectations. Did your ex give good
Valentines?"
She
studied him as they walked. "I never said I had an ex."
He
shrugged with a cagey grin. "I was here, just before the holidays, talking
to Hector about my future—this was before he
knew he was going to fire Mark. I asked if you were here and he said you were
in Vail with your boyfriend."
"I
was in Vail. But Luke wasn't really my boyfriend. Although I'm not sure I ever
made that entirely clear to him."
"Either
you did, and he's an idiot. Or you enjoyed him enough to keep him hanging on
until you found someone better."
"Ouch."
"Just
calling it like I see it. You used to like that about me. And I liked it about
you."
She
sighed because he was right. They used to specialize in calling each other on
their bullshit. "Okay, maybe a little of the latter."
"Luke."
He said it like Dark Vader would have, voice low and raspy and she laughed.
"That's a nerdgasm name. I can see why you wanted to like him."
"And
Kirk isn't?"
"Well,
okay, I'll give you that it's got lots of sci-fi cred. But at least Kirk isn't
biblical."
"Scotland
might disagree with that. You know a church is a kirk, right?"
"You
know the most random things." He laughed. "Anyway, you weren't here
when I was back, and I figured of course you were involved with someone. It was
stupid of me to hope you'd still be free after this much time."
"Is
that why you didn't tell me you were coming?"
He
nodded. "I figured I'd surprise you. And it'd be like old times only I'd
be the single one and you'd have the person waiting at home for you."
"We
weren't living together." In fact, she'd insisted on separate rooms for
their trip to Vail. She'd paid her own way—like
friends do. She'd wanted to go skiing and eat good food and trudge snowy walks
along the river. Things buddies did, nothing romantic. Luke had been the one to
want to call what they had a relationship, not her.
"So
were you not 'with him' with him?"
She
laughed. "Are we in junior high? No, I wasn't sleeping with him."
"Why
not?"
"Uh,
you're in town for a hot minute and ask me that? I didn't feel like it. Okay?
What? Are you afraid I'm saving it for marriage? Which is a valid choice for
those who feel strongly about chastity, but come one, you know me. How many bad
choices did you have to hear about?"
"God,
that was painful."
"Sorry
I bored you." She mock punched him.
"No,
you didn't bore me. I wanted to be those guys. So, so badly." He sighed.
"You
never reached out."
"I
like to be faithful. I sort of pride myself on that. Either it's real or I move
on. You know?"
She
nodded.
"Would
you have reached back if I had wanted more?"
She
let out a laughter that was more a bitter dig than amusement. "I think the
only answer I can give after what you just said is no, I wouldn't have. You
were taken."
"Hmmm.
Yeah, but you weren't. So you wouldn't have been cheating on someone. Would you
have reached back if you were with someone?"
"Of
course not."
"Well
then, see. It's the same." He started to laugh. "For what it's worth,
I was going to try like hell to wrestle you away from your 'Going to Vail' guy. I caught up on all the latest comic book
shows."
"Let's
test that. Felicity or Laurel?"
"Am
I going to tell a gorgeous blonde computer scientist with glasses that I prefer
Laurel?"
"That's
not really an answer."
His
grin was adorable. "God I missed this. And of course, it's Felicity."
"Whew.
Dodged a bullet. But we like Laurel. We're not crazy one-true pairing shippers."
"I'm
not a shipper, period."
"Bull.
You had very strong feelings about Mal and Inara."
"That's
true." He laughed and had the old "Busted" expression he used to
wear. "So, okay, Felicity is the bomb but we still like Laurel. Just not
with Oliver."
"Right."
She could feel something in her settle down as they sparred. It was so much fun
to dip into the nerd pool. Ellen had no time for comic-book
anything unless it was something the kids wanted to see, and they were still
too little for most of the movies and shows Chris enjoyed.
Luke
didn't know Green Arrow from Green Lantern. Or Wolverine from
Vixen—actually he'd gotten really excited when she talked about Wolverine
because he'd thought she meant the football team. He was into sports. Not just
a little into them, either. Like "Turn on a sports network the minute you
get home and don't turn it off again until you go to bed" into sports.
"So
why did you break up with Luke?" He said Luke's name like Darth again.
"He
didn't know a Klingon from a Cardassian."
"What
about from a Wookie?"
"Yeah,
but who doesn't?"
"Heather,
for one." He laughed, but it was far from the amused sound of a guy who
knew things were really over. "She loved rom coms."
"You
have my condolences. Although, I didn't know you were so opposed to them."
She studied the way his jaw tightened.
"Stupid
stuff happens. Love wins in the end."
This
did not sound like a guy who was over the girl he moved away from. She felt her
excitement ebbing. "So, what happened? You were really into her." So
into her, he'd never once turned the lovely rapport he and Chris had into
something more physical—no matter how much hooch they drank after hours.
"I
was. And she was really into me. Until she met Thomas.
The guy she was cheating on me with."
Crap.
This was the worst scenario. A guy hurt over what his ex did. Leaving because
of that, not because he was tired of her or just didn't see the relationship
progressing like she had with Luke. "I'm sorry."
"Yeah,
you and me both." He stopped her, his hand gentle on her elbow. "That
was the other reason I didn't call and tell you I was coming. I'd committed to
her, you know? I didn't have to take the job at Phoenix five years ago, but I
thought it was best for her and me. To go somewhere—well, somewhere you
weren't." He looked down. "Because I really, really liked you, and I
saw that becoming a problem."
"Yeah,
it might have. I really, really liked you, too."
"So
I'd done all that—for her, I mean. Moved and when she wanted to buy a
place, we did. Got a dog, which she insisted on keeping even though I was the
one who walked Trigger everywhere." He sighed. "And then she cheated
on me. When I'd done all that just so I wouldn't cheat on her." He looked
up, his eyes hard. "Pretty pathetic, huh? Quite the catch."
"Trusting
someone isn't pathetic. Hurting someone who trusts you is. She's an
idiot."
"Maybe
not. I think—I think I was more fun to be around when I came home to her from
you. You and I had such a good time. I enjoyed myself here at work.
Laughing—and God the tension. I think she benefitted from how much I
wanted you." He started to laugh. "Is this TMI?"
"I
don't think so. Just don't get into positions and stuff."
He
laughed. "I won't. In fact, I'm done. That's what happened. And now...I'm
here. And if you aren't opposed, I'd really like to see where what we had five
years ago could have gone if I'd been free."
She
screwed her face up in an obvious pretense of having to think about it. Then
she started to laugh. "I'd like that, too. After all, I'm at the freakin'
mall with you. I hate the mall."
"You
do?"
"Oh,
yeah. Online shopping is amazing. You actually like the mall?"
"Well,
no. But I thought all women did." He sighed. "Heather did. I can't
tell you how many changing rooms I sat outside of, waiting to tell her she
looked amazing."
Which
she probably had. Heather was the quintessential
stunning brunette. Chocolate-brown eyes, perfect skin and
weight and height.
"Well,
you'll never do that with me. I like clothes coming to my place in a big box
that the concierge hands over. Everything's in a plastic bag that no one's
opened. Nothing's all stretched out from the hanger or reeking of someone's
perfume—or worse, their body odor—and I get to take my time
deciding. And I am fully capable of dressing myself without boyfriend
buyoff."
He
pretended to be giving her the once over. "Witness how you look right at
this moment. You did all that yourself?" He was laughing.
"Damned
straight." Although if she'd known he was going to be here, she'd have
worn her contacts and more make-up. She could pretend to be copacetic about how
she looked but everyone had their insecurities.
Probably even the perfect Heather.
They
walked past a pretzel place, the scent wafting out at them, and he said,
"I'm starving."
"Let's
get some food. And then look at furniture. Although there are way better places
to shop out where I am."
"Still
in Reston?"
"Yep.
Where are you?"
He
started to laugh.
"Reston?
Seriously?"
"The
Town Center is great now. It takes up way more space than it did before and has
so many options. And the metro."
She
couldn't argue. It was why she paid the enormous mortgage to live there.
"Which building."
He
told her where he was renting, and it was on the same side of the complex as
hers, but a block or so down. "Stalker." She laughed at the face he
made. "Stalker man," she said again, in a singsong voice.
"Shut
up." He set off down the mall, toward one of the many restaurants. It was
packed. "Damn."
So
were all the others.
"Food
court?" She nudged him toward the escalator. "I'm hungry enough
anything will do."
"Fine.
Food court. Stupid holiday."
"As
I said."
They
ended up getting multiple slices of pizza and baked ziti and sharing it. Kirk
waved over an old man carrying flowers.
"No."
But
he ignored her and made a big show of inspecting the flowers. Finally, he chose
a pink one with just the slightest bit of red.
"What
if I like yellow?"
"It
means infidelity."
"Since
when?"
"Since
until the rose growers realized that theme wasn't a big seller and tried to
rebrand it as friendship." He laughed. "Pink is for friendship,
because I like you. So, so much, as I said. And
there's a little bit of red because—well, as you've probably guessed, I'm
kind of a mess over this thing with Heather. But...I have hope. For what we
could be, you know?" He handed her the rose. "I hope you do,
too."
"I
do." Although she felt a bit crushed by his honesty. She loved that he was
being straight with her, that he wasn't going to lie and say he was over his
girlfriend of eight years when he wasn't, but also wishing maybe he'd said a
little more about her and why he had hope. She felt suddenly embarrassed at how
petty she was being—she loved being with this guy, in whatever capacity
she could be. Trying to steer clear of any angst, she said in a mock sorrowful
voice, "But I don't have anything for you."
"Believe
me, by the time you get done helping me furnish my place, you'll think this was
me getting off cheap." He winked and she felt any awkwardness falling
away. Then he leaned in, speared some ziti from their communal plate, and said,
"So, I caught up on movies, too. Wonder
Woman? Awesome or what?" He shot her a warning look. "The wrong
answer could finish us."
"Amazing."
She tried not to think how Gal Gadot looked way more like Heather than her.
His
grin was luminous. "That's my girl."
##
She
heard a knock on her office door and looked up to see Kirk—a tired looking
Kirk. "You're back—just back from the look of it." He'd spent
most of February travelling and looked sick of it.
"Client
wanted to knock off early. Thank God because the team had not really met the
requirements—but it was due to a client change, not us ignoring what they
wanted like before." He sat down. "I almost feel for Mark. This
customer is really putting me through the wringer with all this travel."
Normally department heads didn't have to visit clients as much as he was, but
to save the account, he was having to get way down in
the weeds with his development team.
"I'm
sorry. Why didn't you just go home? No one expected you in the office."
"Missed
you." He grinned but then his phone buzzed. He checked it, keyed something
in, and put it on the table next to him. "Man, my internal clock is so
screwed up."
His
phone buzzed again, this time lighting up with Heather's face. Chris tried to
bite back the frown, but gave up when it took him longer than a moment to
figure out if he was going to hit ignore. "So you guys are talking?"
He
did a combo nod-shrug that could mean just about anything.
"She
calls a lot?"
He
shot her a glance that clearly said he'd rather not talk about this now.
And
then the phone buzzed again, her picture, the sexy smile.
"Maybe
you should take it. Seems like she's not going to settle for voice mail."
"Okay."
He stood, grabbing the phone and heading outside the office to talk.
Chris
could just make out his voice but not what he was saying.
She
closed her eyes and tried to relax. She'd been taking it slow with him for this
reason. He and Heather clearly weren't done. She didn't want to be rebound
girl—or worse: the girl you go out with for a time before you get back
together with the true love of your life.
She
didn't think he'd do that to her—not consciously. Not when they already
had a nice friendship to build on. But it was a friendship that had been
bounded by work until he'd shown up here without Heather. They'd never palled
around like regular friends. She hadn't called him at home when she needed to
talk. They'd had work and then he'd gone home to the woman lighting up his
phone.
A
woman he'd never ever seemed inclined to leave no matter how much fun he had
with Chris. But also one he'd apparently never seen fit to marry. Was that
because of her? It might keep her sane to pretend it was.
He
came back in but didn't sit down. "I guess...I need to..."
"Look,
this is none of my business."
"That's
not true. It is. I care about you." He sighed. "She...she's
sorry."
"She's
sorry? That she screwed another guy while she was with you?"
"And
that she lost me. She knew we'd eventually have to move, and she really likes
Phoenix. I think—I think she didn't want to go and used the affair as a
way to not have to."
"That
was very adult of her." She knew she sounded like a disapproving
schoolmarm and didn't care.
"She
has—had a good job there."
"Had?"
She felt her heart sinking. "Did she—is she coming here?"
"No.
I mean she wants to, but I haven't said yes. She'll quit, if I ask her
to." He gestured to the chair. "May I?"
"Since
when do you have to ask?"
"Since
the look on your face is not terribly friendly."
"Oh,
how horrible of me. Sorry I'm not taking the news of 'My girlfriend may be
moving here after all' all that well. Because who
doesn't want to be friendly about that?" She leaned back, arms crossed.
"Better yet. How about you go to your office and figure your own shit out.
Or go home and get some sleep—you look like crap." She was about to go on when she realized she'd worked later than
she'd meant to, distracted by him.
"I
actually have to be at Ellen's. I'm already going to be late." She
gathered her things and tried to get by him, but he stepped in front of her so
she had to stop or crash into him.
"Chris,
I was with her for eight years. You don't just close the door and walk away.
There's..."
"Baggage?
So I see. It's okay, Kirk. Figure your stuff out on your own time,
though."
"Chris.
Don't be like that."
"Like
what? Realistic? Please, get out of my way." She kept her voice soft but
with steel underneath, so he'd do what she asked. Men rarely knew what to do
with anger wrapped in sugarplums.
He
got out of her way.
She
drove too fast from Tysons out to Sterling, thanking whatever deity looked out
for visiting family members that traffic was light on the toll road and that
Ellen and Larry had moved to a development where there was ample parking close
to their house. The parking at their old townhouse development had been a joke.
Ellen
gave her a hug as she came in and said, "Please don't kill me. But it's
his birthday and I didn't think you'd come if I told you..."
His
birthday? Whose birthday?
"Hey,
Chris." Luke was standing in the kitchen looking somewhere between awkward
and hopeful.
"Hey,
Luke. Happy birthday!" Her voice was way too high pitched, like she was
some mix of excited and startled. When really she was just aggravated at Kirk
and mad that she hadn't remembered Luke's birthday was at the end of
February—she might have seen through Ellen's invite if she'd been less
focused on herself.
He
gave her an awkward hug and said, "Thanks. It's really good to see
you."
"Same.
Same here." She sounded so insincere it made her cringe inwardly. "I
didn't get you anything. I'm sorry."
"You're
here. That's something." His smile was sweet and just for her and she
wished with all her heart that he made her heart go pitter-patter even just a
little bit.
But
he didn't.
Being
around Kirk gave her belly-deep butterflies that were scary and exciting all at
once.
Kirk,
who might have been screwing his ex when he was in LA.
It was a short flight from Phoenix if Heather had wanted to join him. And he
wouldn't be cheating on Chris if they weren't really together—or if he
and Heather were never really over.
"So
how have you been?" Luke sounded like he really wanted to know.
"Good.
Real good. I mean at work. Busy, at work." She forced herself to move past
whatever Kirk was doing. Luke deserved her attention even if she couldn't give
him anything else. "You?"
"Good.
I've been—okay, don't laugh but I've been walking dogs."
"For
a living?" She glanced over at Ellen and Larry who were doing something
with the kids—they'd tell her if Luke quit or got fired, wouldn't they?
Ellen would probably make it out to be her fault for leaving him.
"No,
for fun. And to help out. There's this rescue and they
have all these dogs that need walking on the weekends. Some other people at
work were doing it for one of those corporate charity days, so I went. And I
liked it, so now I'm doing it all the time. It's really fun."
"Doesn't
that cut into football or basketball?" Or whatever sport was on in the
winter.
"I
can record the games." He smiled. "I probably watch too many of
them."
"You
think?"
"Says
the woman who had comic book shows on four nights out of five?"
She
laughed. "Okay, maybe that's a good point." She studied him.
"That's a really nice thing to do. With the dogs."
"It's
not just nice. I mean I get some exercise and sunshine in the great outdoors.
Win-win." His smile was easy and uncomplicated.
Why,
oh why, couldn't she just fall for him? Was easy and uncomplicated a bad thing?
"So
are these dogs going to be put down if no one adopts them?"
"Oh
no, it's a no-kill place." His eyes shone as he told her about the rescue
in excruciating detail.
But
hey, it was way more interesting than sports. And that he cared so much
actually charmed her.
At
the end of the night, they went outside, the weather was that weird D.C.
non-winter that sometimes came in February and March, making it fine to be
outside without a coat.
"This
garden's going to be amazing in the spring," Luke said softly.
"Remember when we moved them in last year?"
"Hottest
day of the year." She laughed. August in northern Virginia was bad enough.
Lugging boxes in the heat and humidity had been a killer. But Luke had been
such a good sport. It was the closest she'd come to loving him.
"We're
not getting back together, are we?" he asked softly.
"No.
I'm sorry."
"It's
okay. If we can be friends still, that would be good. I—I really like
coming here."
"They
really like having you here. And yeah, of course we can be."
"Thanks."
He turned to look at her, as if maybe, given enough time, she'd give him some
other answer about their future.
She
wished she wasn't superimposing hazel eyes over his blue ones, sandy hair over
his dark. She leaned in and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Happy
birthday, Luke. Let's go in before Ellen gets ideas."
"Yeah,
she's pretty invested." He laughed softly. "Is she making you pay for
not liking me?"
"Would
you like it if she did?"
"Little
bit, yeah."
"Then,
yeah. She is." It was the nicest birthday gift she could think to give
him.
##
A
long department meeting finally ended and Chris waited for Kirk to gather his
stuff up. As they walked back toward their side of the building, he murmured,
"Thank you."
"For
what?"
"For
supporting me. Against Hector."
"Why
wouldn't I? What you were proposing made sense—for my department,
too."
"But
I know we're not exactly...solid."
She
gestured toward his office, then followed him in. "We're solid here. At work. When haven't we been?"
He
sat and sighed. "I know. I'm sorry. Maybe it's just me. I'm feeling...guilty,
I guess. Like I don't know where we stand precisely."
She
stopped herself from rolling her eyes. If he didn't know where they stood, that
was on him. She knew what she wanted.
"Kirk,
I get that you're not sure what your status is. I don't precisely understand
why you're having such a hard time deciding that, but I realize you are having
a hard time. But that's personal. This is work. They're different." And
frankly, work might be all she ended up with, so she was sure not going to do
stupid things just because she was annoyed with him.
She
turned to go, but he said, "Come over tonight. I've got all the shows on
DVR."
"Yes,
and no furniture except a bed."
"No,
the sofa came. The one we picked out. Our
sofa." He gave her his most pleading look. "Also the chair and
tables. I'm furniture guy now. So come over. I'm sick of just going out for
drinks or dinner. I want to stay in with you."
She
closed her eyes. "And I'd love to sit and watch archers and speedsters
with you. On a couch that may be ours someday. But
it's not ours yet, and given how weird you're acting, it may never be. I just
think it's better to not tempt fate by staying in."
"Do
you think I can't control myself?"
"It's
not you I'm worried about." She wanted to lean in and touch him, but until
he decided whether or not he and Heather were really done, she didn't want to
do that to herself. Because she wanted more, and touching would lead to more
touching, and her heart was going to be broken enough if she lost to Heather
without things getting physical.
"I
should lie. Tell you that Heather and I aren't talking anymore. That's it's
resolved."
"You're
not that guy. I may be annoyed with the guy you are, but it's nothing compared
to how much I would hate that guy." She smiled to try to take the sting
out of her words. "I've got a ton of work to do anyway. I should stay and
do it."
"So
should I. But wait. I got us something." He reached into his credenza and
pulled out a gorgeous bottle of seventeen-year-old Japanese whiskey.
"Wow.
Way to make a girl feel special."
He
grinned. "I know, right? I could come by in a bit? A nightcap in the
office?"
She
gave him her best smile. "Okay."
"Okay.
I'll see you in a while."
As
she was walking to her office, her phone buzzed and she saw it was Luke.
Frowning and hoping nothing was wrong, she answered. "Hey?"
"Hey.
You got a minute?"
"I
do. But hold on one sec." She held the phone to her chest and stopped at
Marina's desk. "Anything I should know?"
"All
quiet."
"Then
before that changes, get out." She said the
"Get out" part like they were in a horror movie.
Marina
laughed as she grabbed her bag and turned off her terminal. "I'll see you
tomorrow."
"Bye."
She sat down in her chair and put the phone back to her ear. "Okay. What's
up?"
"So
first, we're friends, right?"
"Luke,
we've always been friends." She hated that he had to lead off with that.
He was such a decent guy; she'd be a lucky girl to have him want to stay a
friend.
"No,
you knew we were just friends. I thought we could be more. So technically, we
weren't friends."
The
logic was convoluted, but at its heart accurate, so she laughed. "Okay.
But now we are."
"Right.
So, I need your advice. As a friend. About...about a
girl." He sounded so tentative she felt bad.
She
made her voice as supportive as she could. "Did you meet someone?"
She hoped her voice didn't sound as hopeful as she felt. Him falling for
someone would ease the part of her that did feel guilty she'd let the
relationship linger in the not-friend, not-anything-more zone for way too long.
"Well,
that's why I want your help. Because I thought I'd met someone when I
was—or wasn't—with you. But witness how that
turned out. So you can help me figure out if this is something real or
not."
"Sounds
fair. So where did you meet her?"
"At
the rescue. Maddie started volunteering the week after I did. She's really
cute. And young, but not too young, you know? We hit it off right away and she
asked the people in the office which dogs could be walked
together—because not all of them are socialized, so you can't just walk
random dogs together and not have a fight—so that we could have more
time."
"She
did that?"
"Yeah."
He started to laugh. "She's scarily direct sometimes."
She
didn't think that was a bad thing for him. He was the kind of guy that liked
that. "Is that something lots of people do? Walk them together?"
"No."
She
grinned at how excited he sounded. "So is that all you do? Walk dogs
together?"
"And
we talk the entire time."
"About
dogs?"
"And
sports. She loves sports. And not pretend loves, like girls do. You know to get
a guy. She actually knows stuff."
She
was quick to respond. "I never
pretended to like sports."
"Okay,
that's true." He laughed, and she realized the sound, which had been
getting on her nerves by the end, wasn't annoying her anymore.
"Well,
she sounds dreamy. She's straight, right?"
"Of
course." There was a long silence. "I think she is. Her face lights
up when she sees me. The way I always wanted yours to, but it never did."
She
decided to ignore that comment, not because it made her mad, but because it
brought some of the guilt back. He would have been happy with so little.
"Okay we'll just go with the concept she's straight. What do you do
between walks?" She leaned back and put her feet up on the shelf of the
bookcase that was next to her desk. She could see traffic starting to back
up—good thing she had nowhere to be.
"We
sit with the dogs, maybe let them play in the runs if they're free. Or just
snuggle—with the dogs, I mean, not each other. They really like that.
They're alone all week." He sighed. "Am I going to get hurt?"
"I
don't think so. It sounds like this Maddie's into you."
"But
she hasn't asked me to do anything after volunteering."
"Luke,
she got you walking together, right?" At his grunt of assent, she said,
"How many first moves does the girl have to make? Ask her out, you
moron."
"Yeah?"
"She
likes sports and dogs and you." She laughed, enjoying this opportunity to
treat him like a kid brother rather than a guy she wasn't into.
"I'll
ask her. Maybe I'll text her when we hang up."
"She
gave you her number? And you haven't texted her? Just a 'Hey there' during the
week?" No wonder she wasn't asking him out. She was probably confused as
hell.
"Chris,
you left me kinda gun shy. I really thought we had a chance, but we didn't. I
don't want to get hurt again."
She
felt another wave of guilt at his honesty. She'd never meant to hurt him.
"Well, text her as soon as we're through. I think this time you'll be
fine. And Luke?"
"Yeah."
"I'm
sorry. I'm sorry I left you hanging for as long as I did. It really sucks not
knowing where you stand."
"Thanks."
"Okay,
I'll let you go."
"Chris,
what if it was okay that you did it? Because I've been thinking about it and
maybe if I hadn't been spending time with you, I'd have found someone else, and
I'd have missed Maddie."
She
grinned. "That's a really nice way to look at it."
"Yeah,
I like it, too. I prefer a kindly universe, you know?"
"I
agree."
"Thanks
for the assist." He sounded eager to get off the phone.
"Bye.
Good luck. Not that I think you'll need it." He was a super guy and this
girl probably knew that and, more importantly, appreciated it.
She
turned around as she hung up and saw Kirk standing in the doorway. "How
much of that did you hear?"
"The
end. Was that Luke?"
She
started to laugh. "Yes, I was talking to my ex."
"And
I'm the bad guy here?"
"In
my defense, he wanted advice about a girl he's interested in."
"Oh.
Crap. I am still the bad guy. Well, the bad guy comes bringing delicious
whiskey." He'd put it a bag so it was less obvious, and pulled it out, the
light shining on the faceted bottle that was pretty enough to use as a decanter
once it was empty. "You have glasses?"
"But
of course." She wished it was the sixties, like
on Mad Men only without the
chauvinism or racism or lack of smartphones. But with the cool barware
displayed in every office. She stood and reached into the cabinets over her
terminal and pulled out two plastic cups. "Not fine crystal, I'm
afraid."
"They'll
do." He poured the whiskey, then handed her a glass. "To you. For
being...wonderful."
"How
am I wonderful?" She took a sip of the whiskey and closed her eyes.
"Oh my God, this is good."
"You're
wonderful because you're letting me be an idiot and still talking to me."
He looked down. "She cheated on me. This should be a no-brainer."
"She
did." She studied him. "But you were with her for a long time. You
love her, right? And yet there's us. A sort of...emotional affair, even if we
never did the deed."
"True."
"So
in a sense you both cheated."
"Why
am I thinking your ex got a better talk than I'm getting?" He laughed
softly.
"Because
I don't care if he moves on. I care very much what you decide." She leaned
forward, not trying to smile her way into being less serious or threatening or
whatever. "I want you to pick me. I don't want her moving here, in your
apartment, on our sofa." Then
she leaned back and sighed. "But I may not get what I want."
"At
least you're honest."
"We've
always been honest with each other, haven't we? We may have chosen not to talk
about some things but otherwise...?"
"Yeah,
we've always had honesty." He put his feet up on the desk. "But...I
don't want to find out you've met someone while I'm dicking around."
"Then
stop dicking around."
"So
you're not waiting?"
She
shrugged.
"I
guess I deserve that. It's just, when I took Phoenix, I deliberately put you in
a box, in a corner of my heart. You were this lovely woman who I was not
with—was never going to be with—and I tried to be what Heather
needed me to be. And then I found out she was cheating, and I got the offer to
move back here, but it had to be at once." He sighed. "I leaped. Out
of there. Into this. I never...processed what I felt
or how it hurt or anything. I guess that's what Heather and I are doing
now."
"And
that makes sense." She wished it didn't. She wished she could be mad at
him. But if she did win him, she wanted to really win. So he needed to work
through this. She just wouldn't tell him she wasn't looking for another
guy—let him think he might lose her if he snoozed too long.
"For
what it's worth, I think Heather and I are processing ourselves out of the
relationship. Please—please be patient? I know I have no right to ask you
to wait. But I am asking you to wait."
She
studied him, the way his mouth turned down when he was serious, the way he
didn't look away, holding her gaze as if by force of will. To give him this was
to give him a lot of power in their relationship. It meant she was trusting him not to trample her heart.
But
she'd waited so long already. Even if she'd never admitted to Ellen that it was
what she was doing. Maybe it had been. Maybe she'd picked guys like Luke
because they'd never actually be a threat if this man was finally free.
"Chris?"
His mouth was turning down, like he thought she was going to kick him to the
curb.
"Don't
make me wait too long, Kirk, or I'll be gone."
By
the way he nodded, she could tell he believed her. "For what it's worth,
it's easier, when I see her face on my phone. It's less...raw. It's
less...anything."
She
tilted her head, processing. "That sounds encouraging." She didn't
let too much hope sneak into her voice.
"I
don't want to promise you something I can't give. And if I were with you, I'd
want to give you everything."
"Everything
sounds nice."
"It
really, really does." He took a deep breath, as if he was deciding whether
to say something.
"What?"
"She
wanted to get married. I'd done so much for her, but I wouldn't do that, no
matter how much she hinted. Maybe the affair was payback for that, too."
He met her eyes. "I was in, but there was a limit. And I think that was
because of you. Because for all the things she and I had, we never had the
comfort and fun you and I do, and if I ever do marry, I want that. Does that
make sense?"
"Perfect
sense, actually."
"Good.
I'm not sure I ever really analyzed it that way." He shook his head, his
expression changing to one less serious, which she appreciated. This kind of
talk could only go so far.
"Give
me some more of that fine, fine hooch." She held her glass out and he
poured her a little more. Neither of them drank that much when they were
driving. She pulled out a bag of mixed nuts and they munched as they
drank—an empty stomach was no drinker's friend.
"How
about this?" he said, as he dug around in the bag clearly on a search for
the pistachios, which she allowed since the cashews were her favorite. "We
both have the shows recorded, so let's watch them at our own places but talk on
the phone."
"Are
you serious? People who talk during a movie drive you nuts." They'd been
to plenty of movies. It was safe and fun and it gave them things to talk about
at dinner afterwards that weren't his relationship or work.
"But
this is different. It'll have to do until we're in the same room."
"We
can try it." She grinned. "But not tonight. I think I'm going to
crash when I get home." She motioned toward the window. "And home may
be a long way away judging from the traffic out there."
He
got up and walked to the window. "I'm going to remember I can get an
instant traffic report from you. Yikes. Is this what it's like during the
holidays?"
"Yep.
Peril of working near the malls."
He
walked over to her, took the bottle and put it in the cabinet where she kept
the glasses. "Keeping it here will give me a reason to come back."
"Oh,
sure, like I'm not enough."
"Well,
just in case you were wondering how I felt about you. A man does not keep
whiskey this fine with a gal who's not mighty important to him."
"I
really, really believe that. Now get out and let me work." She was staring
up at him, a smile playing on her lips that she knew she was letting turn sexy.
He leaned down, moving slowly, and whispered, "Stop me if you want."
"I
don't want to stop you." She let him kiss her, his mouth on hers sweet and
light. A kiss that was more promise than anything. She
didn't open her mouth to him; he didn't seem to expect her to.
She
reached up and cupped his cheek. "I really, really, really want to
win." Then she pulled him back and kissed him a little more seriously. She
could feel the chemistry between them zinging madly; the way this man made her
feel was worth waiting for. She thought by the way he was moaning that the
sparkage going off between them was not lost on him.
She
finally let him go and ducked away. "Now, go. Quit distracting me."
He
laughed, muttered something that sounded like, "Vixen," and left her
in peace.
Chris
smiled as she replayed the kiss. She had no intention of taking this too far,
but maybe to win the battle, she needed to at least fire a few shots.
##
Chris
laughed as Kirk pulled her into the snow-covered streets of the Town Center.
She slid for a moment on a piece of ice, then her
expensive snow boots found some traction. Stupid snow storm
on the first day of spring. "Happy freakin' equinox."
He
pulled her closer, dropping his arm around her as they walked. "I can't
believe it was nearly seventy for Saint Paddy's and now I get back to
this."
"Perils
of living on a climate bubble. Never sure if we're the south or the
northeast." She reached around, hugging him close,
glad he was back. "You should have stayed in L.A.
if you wanted warm."
"I
could have, you know. Beach bunnies and palm trees for the weekend but no, I
came back here. Because I wanted to spend the equinox with
you. Spring is officially ours." He said the last bit in a pompous
voice, as if he was announcing "the Lord and Lady Marlboro" at some
ball. "Actually, remember that Buffy episode where it snowed and they were
walking like this right past the theater?" He pointed at the cinema
marquee as they passed.
"Only
that was at Christmas and this isn't mystical snow."
"No,
it's very real. So what did you end up doing for Saint Patrick's? Did you pick
up some guy in a rowdy Irish bar?"
"As
if." She shook her head. "I stayed in, actually. Bought a bottle of
Irish whiskey I'd never had before and sat on the balcony with a glass. It was
a lovely evening." Their weather really was schizophrenic at times. It was
a wonder they weren't all sick. "What'd you do?"
"Went
out with the clients."
"They
wuv you. Hector is so happy."
"They
better wuv me, the number of times I've been out there for things I would
normally not be at." He pulled her around so she was facing him. "I
think I deserve a kiss for that, don't you?"
Ever
since that kiss in her office, he'd been amazingly liberal in what he thought
he deserved kisses for.
She
pretended to think about it. But it wasn't hard: she liked kissing him.
"A
happy Hector may mean a raise for you, too."
"Oh,
fine." She gave him a quick but thorough kiss. It turned into something
longer and normally, she'd have pulled back, but his phone hadn't rung all
night, and it was a magical night with the snow and him back when she hadn't
expected him to be.
"There's
no way I could have stayed in L.A.," he said when they finally pulled
away. "I missed you."
"I
missed you, too."
"We
should make a ritual. The first night of spring, no matter the weather, we take
a walk, hand in hand, and kiss."
"What
if it's an ice storm?" She laughed at his expression. "I'm paid to
foresee problems and plan for them."
"We'll
walk hand in hand under cover."
"What
if we're not together?" That one was less fun, but she wanted to see what
he'd do with it.
He
pulled her in for another kiss. "I'd say that's not a very likely
scenario."
She
could have asked if that meant he and Heather were
really, finally done—as in nail in the coffin, put a stake in it, kaput.
But in case the answer was that he still wasn't sure, she didn't want to spoil
the night, so she just grinned and asked, "What if we're in different
cities because of work?"
"Then
we do it while talking on the phone." He pushed her into a store entrance,
out of the snow and conveniently also sheltered from the glances of the other
people that were out walking. He pushed back her hair and just stared at her.
"You're
making me nervous."
"Don't
be." He kissed her, more tenderly than he ever had. And she thought he
mouthed something against her cheek.
She
thought it was "I love you."
She
mouthed it back, into the air, into the night, where in case this went south,
it wouldn't be right there for him to know.
But
doing it made her feel warm, not cold. Even if she wasn't sure of them
together, she was sure of how she felt right at this moment—and that she
hadn't been wrong to not settle for less than this. It might kill her for a
while if he and Heather got back together, but she'd spend the rest of her life
looking for this. Not him, specifically, but this feeling. This
lovely warmth and feeling of security. Which made no sense given the
uncertainty, but there it was. This was what she wanted—preferably with
him.
"I'm
starving. Are you starving?" He tucked her scarf into her jacket a little
more securely.
"I
am." What she really wanted to do was kiss more, but she let him pull her
down the street as they looked for a place that wasn't closed for snow.
The
Thai place was open so they ducked in, laughing as they hung up their winter
gear. It was surprisingly crowded and they had to wait a while for a table so
they sat at the bar and he surprised her by ordering them an
aged Thai rum instead of whiskey.
When
it came, he held his glass to her. "To spring, and the gorgeous woman I'm
welcoming it in with."
"To
spring." She took a sip. The rum was smooth and sweet—but robust and
not unlike whiskey in some ways. Rum to her meant tiki and limes and exotic
fruits but this was the kind of thing you could while a quiet evening away
with. She'd definitely have to revise her thinking. "This is good."
"Right?
I had it in L.A. the other day. I thought you'd like it."
"You're
usually right."
"I
usually am, aren't I?"
His
phone buzzed and she could feel herself tensing. Heather's picture lit up the
screen, but he didn't get up to take it out of her hearing, just answered it
and said, "Hey."
She
thought the way he said it was the same casual way she talked to Luke, but
maybe she was just projecting, because she wanted that to be true so damn
badly.
"It's
in the box in the hall closet. No, the white box." He rolled his eyes and
she laughed. "The one that says 'Tax info.' Yeah, that one."
She
laughed harder.
"Heather,
just give that stuff to Glen and the receipts I sent you. He'll make sure you
get the most you can get. Yes, he will require payment—that's how
accountants work. Yes, it will still be worth it. Okay. All right. Bye."
He cut the connection. "Oh, my God. I've done the taxes for eight years.
You'd think it was rocket science."
She
laughed, partly because if they had an accountant he trusted, what was the
problem? But also because he sounded peeved not...hurt, the way talking about
Heather had made him seem to feel before.
"Did
she buy the townhouse from you?" This was uncharted territory; she'd been
careful to stay out of their joint business.
"Actually,
it's proving to be too much for her. So I'm buying it. I'll keep it as an
income investment. It's in a neighborhood that's skyrocketing in value."
The
hostess came over then, leading them to a table and motioning for a server to
bring over a plate of satay, murmuring that it was on the house.
They
ate happily and she let him order for them when the server came back. He didn't
seem to want to keep talking about Phoenix or Heather, and that was fine with
her. Especially since the phone didn't ring again during the rest of their
dinner.
After
dinner, he walked her to the door of her building and she wanted more than
anything to invite him up and celebrate spring in the lusty way people had been
doing for centuries, but maybe the weather was a clue that this was not the
time to break down. Winter wasn't quite over—and neither was her wait.
But
she pulled him to her out of the snow and not in full view of the concierge
desk and kissed him for a long time, then murmured, "Happy spring,
Kirk," and went into her building.
When
she turned back, he was still there, staring in, a sweet smile on his face.
##
"Is
she in?" Chris heard Kirk ask Marina, and he barely waited for the answer
as he came barreling in.
"Is
there a crisis?"
"No.
Well, yes. In L.A. So I have to go out again tonight.
But, I wanted you to see something." He did something to his phone and
then thrust it at her. It said "Trigger" and had a picture of a
chocolate lab.
"That's
your dog in Phoenix, isn't it? And he has his own phone number?"
"Exactly."
He was looking at her like she needed to start getting the point of whatever he
was trying to say.
She
laughed and tried to hand the phone back. "As messages go, this is sort of
existential."
He
pointed at the number. "That's Heather's number."
"I
still don't get it."
"Look
for her." He laughed at her expression. "No, really, search the
numbers in my address book."
She
did as he asked. No Heather. She looked up at him and shook her head slightly,
not wanting to feel hope when she still wasn't sure she understood.
"This
worked so much better in my head." He shut the door, calling out to Marina
to hold her calls, then walked around, pulled her out of her chair and into his
arms, and said, "The only reason Heather will be calling me now is if she
needs anything for Trigger. Like, you know, money for surgery or some
test."
"You
mean? You guys are...?"
"Are
really, really, really finished." He touched the dog's picture.
"Except for him. Because you leave the person, not the animal, you
know?"
She
tried to bite back the stupidly big grin that was growing, but gave it up when
he picked her up and spun her around.
"I'm
free, you idiot," he whispered in her ear, nuzzling it for good measure.
"Don't
even call me an idiot for that—it was so not an immediate leap from a
picture of your dog to you being free." He was still holding her, so she
leaned in and kissed him, to let him know that, even if she disagreed with his
assessment of her ability to follow his logic, she wasn't opposed to the actual
content of the message.
"I'm
free." He nuzzled her neck.
"She'll
still call about taxes, not just the dog."
"Yeah,
okay, but that's not emotional."
"Or
if something gets clogged."
"No,
that will be the renters. Because she's moved out."
"Oh.
Wow. So, she really is out of your life."
He
nodded. "So stop spinning scenarios for a second and enjoy this."
"I
can't believe you have to leave right after you tell me."
He
pulled her in for another kiss and murmured, "We could have a quickie.
This desk looks perfect for—"
"Don't
even go there. This is our work place. And after all this time of me waiting
for you, you'll just have to wait for me." She nuzzled against him and he
groaned. "But I'm sure not going to play fair right at this moment."
She ground against him just a little bit harder.
He
drew her in, kissing her with more passion than before, and said, "I'll be
home late Saturday. Sunday, I want to see you Sunday."
"It's
Easter, silly." How could it be the start of April already?
"It
is but you're not religious."
She
laughed. "No, but I promised I'd go to Ellen's for brunch. It's a family
thing. So you should come with me."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
And then she started to laugh because Luke was coming too and bringing Maddie
to meet the fam. "My ex will be there with his new squeeze."
"Then
I have to be there. If he's going to be." He nuzzled her. "I know I
wasn't fair to you. Making you wait."
She
smoothed his hair and he closed his eyes so she filed that away as something he
liked. "You were fair, though. You never lied to me. You never gave me
false expectations. You told me you were figuring things out. And it wasn't
exactly unpleasant finding out how much I like being around you even without
the romance. It was my choice to wait."
"Why
did you wait?"
"No
one better came along." She stuck her tongue out at him just to add more
snark to the answer.
"Very
mature. Seriously, though, why?"
"Because
for five years you were my benchmark for what I wanted from a guy. And I didn't
find it, but then you came back. Sort of. I could have
looked for something else but when the real guy is right in front of
you..." She touched his cheek, cupping it and smiling as he leaned in.
"We have sparkage." She hoped he'd understand that term.
"Yes.
Yes, we do." He closed his eyes, pressing his hand over hers. "But we
have a lot more than that, too. I like you, Chris Kelly. And in the long run,
that's just as important as sparkage."
"True
but sparkage is key. It's why Felicity and not Laurel. It's why Mulder and
Scully. It's why Buffy and—"
"Spike,"
he said as she said "Angel."
"Uh,
there may be trouble in paradise here. Spike? Really?" She started to
laugh. "Well, we'll have something to argue about, at least."
"I'll
call you from L.A. We can debate it to our heart's content."
"Okay,
nerd-man."
He
sighed and seemed to force himself away from her. "I don't want to
go."
"You
have to go."
"I
know." He stood, staring.
"Are
you memorizing my face?"
"Yes."
"You
have a camera, dipshit. With selfies of us together."
"But
that was before."
She
moved to him. "Take one now. The day you greenlit this thing
finally."
He
laughed as he snapped the shot. "We look cute together."
She
nodded as she studied the pic. They looked so happy in it. Before she could ask
him to send her a copy, he did it on his own. She loved that he just knew.
"There,"
he said, as he stole a quick kiss then headed for the door. "You'll have
something to look at longingly, too. I miss you already."
"Get
outta here. What do you think this is—some kind of lame rom com, Spike-lover?" She laughed at his expression.
"Spike
didn't have a curse, Toots. Something to be said for that." Then he turned
and walked out, calling a cheery "Bye" to Marina.
Who
walked in a few moments later. "Everything
okay?"
"Everything
is wonderful."
They
shared the silent smile of women who knew they were loved, then Marina said,
"Well, not to break up your bliss, but Hector wants to see you. New project to bid on. Proposals are due Friday. Planning meeting in fifteen minutes in the main conference room.
You might want to touch up your lipstick before you go." With a wink, she
left her in peace.
As
Chris pulled out the pocket mirror she kept behind her phone for quick checks,
she thanked the Universe, or whoever looked out for people who were sick of
being patient, for this new project. She and her team would be working their
butts off all week. Which meant less time to miss Kirk.
It
would probably be the only time she'd ever be happy to hear about a
short-turnaround request for proposals.
##
Chris
leaned back and closed her eyes, dozing as Kirk drove. "So. Damn.
Early."
"You're
the one who said yes to Easter brunch at your sister's."
"You're
the one who called me the minute you got home last night—make that this
morning—and talked for three hours."
"I
missed you. So sue me. I could have come over."
"Sure,
because that would end up with us just talking." She glanced over to see
if he was pouting, and he was. "I see no reason to rush things now."
She laughed as his expression got even more morose.
"Waiting is good for the soul, buster. Just ask me how I know."
"Fine,
fine."
"And
since you're the one driving, I'm going to sleep." Even if the trip was
only going to take about fifteen minutes. She could get a power nap.
"I
think I'm done travelling for a while. Hector sent me a 'Happy Easter' text. He
said he thought the clients were soothed sufficiently for me to cut back."
So much for naps. But that was okay if news like this was coming.
"He could give out chocolate bunnies but no, all you get is an Easter
text."
"Good
news is better than candy. If it means more time with you."
"Aww.
And there'll be a chocolate bunny in your future, if I know my sister. She
hasn't met a holiday yet that doesn't call for decorations or gift bags. Easter
is one of her favs."
"So,
is she happy for us?"
"Mmmmm...?" She could lie but why start that now? "She
knows how I feel about you. And that I've felt that way for a
long time. She also knows it took you an ungodly long time to unload
your ex." She laughed at his expression. "I'm kidding. I played that
part down. And she knows you were travelling a lot."
"But
she liked you with Luke, right?"
"She
did. But I think she'll forgive me for not taking to Luke when she sees that
we're both much happier with other people."
There
was no traffic so they got to Ellen's neighborhood quickly. It was another
crazy D.C. weather day. Perfect blue sky and sun so if you didn't know better,
you'd swear it was a warm April day, but it was only in the high forties. It
had been warmer during the week, though, so everything was in bloom.
Tyler
and Mia ran out as she reached into the back for the Easter bags she'd put
together for them. They grabbed them and ran back inside after yelling,
"Hi!" to Kirk and her.
"I
think the gift bag thing runs in the family."
"There
were so many cute things. And you were on the road so I needed shopping to
distract me." She grinned. "Also, Ellen won't buy them black
things—well, shoes, she will, but not clothes. So I do it."
"You
found Easter things that were black?"
"Oh,
yeah. It's an art." She laughed. "You'll hear about it. It's a game
at this point. And she'll let them keep all the stuff. She just won't buy
anything black for them herself."
"Why?"
"I
have no idea. Our mom was the same way." She laughed as Ellen came out to
stand on the porch, hands on her hips. "I got Mia this adorable black jean
jacket with flower and bunny appliquŽs. It's so cute. Ellen will be especially
annoyed."
"Yay?"
Mia
pushed past Ellen, wearing the jacket and screaming, "I love it," as
she ran up to Chris.
"Let
me out, munchkin." She scooped her up as soon as she got out of the car.
"Mia, this is Kirk."
"He's
cute."
He
started to laugh. "So are you, young lady."
"Are
you my aunt's boyfriend?"
"I
am." He said it with no hesitation and a lovely happy lilt.
"I
like him." She struggled to get down. "I have to open the rest of my
stuff."
And
she was off.
He
laughed as he watched her go. "The boy?"
"Tyler
will open everything all at once, very slowly and carefully. Come on, you need
to meet him." She led him over to Ellen, giving her sister a huge hug.
"Happy Easter." When she pulled away, she said, "And this is
Kirk Mitchell, Ellen."
"The
infamous Kirk." Ellen squinted, as if she was having
to decide whether or not she liked him.
"The
infamous Ellen." He had a crooked half grin going that made him look
adorable. "I love your sister. Your children are beautiful. It's nice to
meet you."
"Wow.
You know how to cover the important stuff right at the door. Happy Easter and
come out of the cold."
As
he followed her in, he was introduced to Larry and Tyler.
Chris
looked around. "Luke and Maddie?"
"In
the family room, watching—something sports. I don't know."
Ellen
made mimosas for her and Kirk, then shooed them out of
the kitchen, saying, "Go say hi to them."
They
walked past the dining room table, decorated beautifully and with little bags
at each place.
"Man,
you weren't kidding," Kirk said. "That looks
like it's out of a magazine."
"I
know. She's really good at this stuff. I'm not." She pulled him toward the
family room.
Luke
looked up as she walked in with Kirk and introduced them. She worried for a
second that he might be hurt, but instead he stood and pulled Maddie up with
him.
"This
is Maddie, Chris." His smile was huge. Maddie's was wary as she looked at
Chris, but it grew warmer when she turned to Kirk.
But
then she took Chris by the elbow and sort of steered her down the hall out of
earshot.
"I
know you went out with Luke."
"Yes.
I did."
"You
can't have him back." She looked very serious about the whole thing, like
she was trying to establish she was alpha in this.
"Okay.
I'm with Kirk so that works out well."
"But
Luke calls you."
"Hardly
ever anymore. That's because of you. He's really happy. I'm glad. I didn't make
him happy." She could tell Maddie hadn't expected her to be so honest.
"It's
just really clear that it matters to him that you like me."
She
debated telling her that shoving the ex into the hall to have it out wasn't the
best way to make that happen, but Luke had said that Maddie was very direct.
"Okay."
"Does
it matter to you if Luke likes your new guy?"
"Not
in the least." She saw Maddie relax—apparently that was the right
answer. "Luke's yours." She heard Mia yelling for her. "If
you'll excuse me, I have a niece to spoil."
"Sure."
She
ran into Kirk as she went into the kitchen.
"What
was that?"
"I'm
not sure. I think she was laying claim to Luke."
He
laughed. "I'm okay with that."
"So
am I. Is that the right answer?"
"Mmm
hmmm." He pulled her in for a quick kiss.
"Ick."
Tyler was standing in the hallway, holding the cars she'd bought him.
"These are awesome, Aunt Chris."
"I
thought you'd like them."
Tyler
looked up at Kirk. "Cars are way more fun than girls."
"Maybe
when you're six they are."
"I'm
seven."
"Sorry,
man. My bad."
Tyler
laughed at that. "You want to see my car collection?"
"Sure,
buddy, show me what you got." He followed Luke down the hall.
She
went the opposite direction, following the sound of Mia
calling for her. "Munchkin, I'm coming."
"I
like my presents." She lifted her arms up and Chris obliged her, even
though she was way heavier at five than she'd been as a baby. But still, get
the cuddles while the kids still wanted to give them. Mia snuggled in, her lips
on Chris's neck. "Everything's black. Everything."
She was laughing as she said it.
"I
did good, huh?"
"You
did really good."
She
carried Mia into the kitchen and sat with her at the counter while Ellen
worked, so they could all be together.
"Are
you going to marry your boyfriend?"
"Mia,
don't ask her that." Ellen shook her head. "I think she's taking
blunt lessons from the new girl."
So
it wasn't just her who thought Maddie was direct. Although the kids pretty much
just said whatever they thought, so she didn't think that could be blamed on a
woman they'd just met.
"Where
is your boyfriend?"
"Checking
out Tyler's car collection."
"Wow,
he invited him to see it? He's been so shy lately."
"He
caught us kissing. I think he might be trying to save Kirk from girl
cooties."
"Ah,
that makes sense."
Mia
turned and did air kisses, adding ooh and ahh sound effects. "Kissing is
fun."
Ellen
stopped what she was doing and turned. "You know that how?"
"It
wakes up the princesses in fairy tales." She shrugged. "And the girls
in the make-up commercials kiss their boyfriends."
"So
you haven't been kissing anyone in school?"
"Ewwww."
Chris
laughed. "I remember Mom telling that story about how you had a boyfriend
when you were two. You used to sit on the front porch and kiss and kiss."
"Don't
give her ideas." But Ellen was laughing. "I wish I could remember
that. Figures: my wild days were as a toddler."
"Wild
days are overrated. I'm looking forward to being boring and settled."
Ellen
smiled. "I'm looking forward to that, too. I just want you to be
happy."
"I
know."
They
could hear Tyler's voice as he explained something about his soccer team, then
Kirk followed him into the kitchen.
"Kiddo, let your aunt's new guy catch his breath. You've got
hours to bond with him." She shooed both children out of the kitchen, then
handed Chris a bag of small foil-wrapped chocolate eggs. "You know the
drill, Sis."
She
took Kirk's hand and led him out to the back yard. "Okay, this is our
task. Hide these. Not so well they can't find them and get frustrated. Not so
easily they find them all at once and feel cheated. Got it?"
"Got
it."
They
moved around the garden, hiding things, laughing at some of the stranger places
they put things. Kirk kept stealing kisses from her, making the egg hiding take way longer than it should have.
"There,"
she said as she surveyed their work. A few pieces of foil were
apparent—she knew Tyler would let Mia find those—but the rest would
be fun for both of them. "The rug rats will be happy with this."
"We've
never talked about kids. Do you want them?"
"Is
it over if I say no?"
"It's
not over." But he sounded uncertain.
"Do
you think I want kids?"
"You
were eyeing kids' clothes in the mall on Valentine's Day."
"For
these two. Not my future ones." She studied him. "I like kids but I
can't say my biological clock is going off—I'm not sure I have one."
She worked so much; kids had always seemed like something other people had.
"I
like Ellen's kids. A lot."
"They're
wonderful. Other people's kids are great because you can do the drop-in and
spoil thing and then leave. Without them." She snuggled into him.
"But I've been thinking of getting a kitten."
"I
like cats. Two kittens are better than one." He kissed her gently.
"Maybe we could wait until you're willing to live with me—or let me
live with you or we buy a place together—and then we could get kittens
that could be ours?"
"That
would be nice."
He
had a funny look on his face so she asked, "What is it?"
"I
don't want to rule kids out completely. I mean I can imagine some down the
line."
"Yeah?"
She smiled. "It would depend on the guy."
"For
argument's sake, pretend it's me." He made a funny face at her.
"Okay,
not ruling them out. Just...I don't want to have them right away. I want to
enjoy you."
"That
sounds wonderful."
She
took his hand and they walked through the garden, really looking at it now that
they weren't hiding chocolates. The daffodils and narcissus were everywhere.
Whoever had the house before Ellen and Larry must have thrown up bulbs, but the
end result was haphazardly gorgeous. "They say yellow is the first color
our eye is drawn to."
"Green-eyed
blondes are the first color this man's eyes are drawn to."
"Aww,
big romantic." She kissed him as a thank-you, then
pointed at a ground cover with bright periwinkle flowers. "What's
that?"
"How
the hell would I know?" He laughed. "You will not be marrying a
gardener."
"I
won't be marrying you, either, since you haven't asked me." She turned to
get a closer look at the flowers, but then he tugged at her sleeve and she
realized he'd gone down on one knee. "Oh, shit, no. I didn't mean you had
to..."
He
pulled a small box out of his jacket pocket. The box was empty. He didn't seem
upset by this fact.
She
started to laugh. "Sweetie, you lost the ring."
"There
is no ring. Because you're very particular. You think
I'm going to unilaterally pick out something you have to wear all the
time?" He laughed. "I also know it's insanely sudden since I've only
been technically free for a week. But we've been sort of dating for several
months."
"If
you squint."
"We
were dating. We just didn't know if it was for keeps. But that's not my whole
case."
She
couldn't keep a straight face; he looked so earnest. "Fine,
continue."
"We've
known each other so long."
"We
had a five-year gap where I saw you the few times you were in town."
"Okay,
but did you forget about me? Didn't it give you a warm fuzzy to know I was
coming out, even for a few days? Because it sure made me happy to think I'd get
to see you again."
He
was right. She'd loved the times he visited the home office. "Fine.
Argument accepted."
"Good.
So, I realize we have to sort out how we work as a real couple that does more
than just grab drinks or do a movie and dinner. But we can suss all that out
during a long engagement, right?"
"Or
we could date for a long time and have a short engagement."
"I'd
rather not wait. Maybe I've just listened to that 'Put a ring on it' song too
many times."
She
laughed. "So I guess you want to lock this down toot suite?"
"Damn
straight, woman." He grinned but then his expression turned serious.
"Chris, you know me. Once I'm in, I'm in. And you're beautiful and amazing
and I know—I truly do know—how lucky I am that you waited." He
started to laugh. "Throw me a bone. Say you'll go shopping for an
engagement ring."
"Fine,
but it's going to be a really long engagement."
"Fine."
"And
I hate weddings. I want to have a big party instead. After we're married. No white dress. No presents. Just fun."
She'd thought a lot about this. Usually at every wedding she'd had to sit
through.
"Fine.
Yes."
"Or
maybe we'll tell them to buy us whiskey. We can build our collection."
"That's
a great idea." He was grinning in a silly way. "No white dress and
lots of whiskey. You're the perfect woman."
"Don't
I know it?" She laughed when he rolled his eyes. "Fine, okay. I'll go
ring shopping with you."
Ellen
chose that moment to open the slider and poke her head out. She cocked her head
and took in his pose, still down on one knee. "Is he proposing?" she
asked, way louder than was necessary.
"I
don't think the entire neighborhood heard you, Sis." She pulled him up.
"You're
proposing on Easter?" She looked like she didn't think the blending of
holiday and personal event was a good idea.
"No,
I planned to do it the next time I saw her, which was today, which just happens
to be Easter."
"Hmm."
It came out more a grunt than any kind of acceptance.
Chris
tried not to laugh. Kirk was going to get a big dose of Ellen today whether he
liked it or not.
"Let's
see the ring."
"Yeah,
about that—we're picking it out together." He sounded tentative,
like maybe he thought he'd miscalculated. That he should have bought her one.
So
she grabbed his arm and snuggled in. It was time to show Ellen they were a
united front. "He knows me well, this one. I want a say in what goes on my
hand."
"He
must know you well." She made a face and said to Kirk, "She'll deny
it, but I know she takes every gift I give her back."
"Not
every one. And if you'd just give a gift card..."
"But
that's no fun."
"This
is a very old argument, I think," he said winking at them, and sounding
glad he was finally not the center of Ellen's attention.
"So,
El, what is this?" She pointed at the covering of periwinkle flowers.
"Vinca.
I had to look it up when it started to bloom. Apparently it's invasive, but
it's so pretty. This yard is going to be a lot of work. I don't suppose you
garden, do you, new guy?"
Kirk
shook his head, and Chris bit back a laugh at the name. He
was saved from having to say more when Luke and Maddie came out followed by
Larry and the kids.
"They're
engaged. I think." Ellen looked at Luke with a "How are you taking
that?" look.
"Congratulations!"
He seemed sincerely happy for them.
"Can
I see the ring?" Maddie asked.
"There's
no ring. It's a them thing." Ellen took her by the arm. "Do you
garden?"
"Not
by choice."
"El,
don't harass Maddie." Chris grinned when Maddie shot her a grateful look
for the help.
"You
can find a service or something online, Ellen. Wow it's cold out here. Winter's
not giving up, I guess." As Maddie escaped Ellen's grip and turned Luke to
go back into the house, Chris heard her say, "If you end up asking me to
marry you, you better have a ring."
Kirk
wrapped his arms around her. "She thinks I'm cheap."
"I
know you're smart. Which is more
important?"
"Excellent
point." He pulled her closer and kissed her tenderly.
"God,
you two, get a room." Ellen shooed the kids and Larry inside. But she
stopped for a moment and grinned at them both. "Welcome to the family,
Kirk," she said gently as she went inside.
"Thanks."
He sounded truly touched.
Chris
felt a little lump in her throat at her sister's acceptance. "I told you
she'd like you."
"That
was her liking me? Oh, man."
"Changing
your mind?"
"Not
on your life. And she had an excellent idea about getting a room. A room, with
a bed, would be nice. How many years of foreplay have we had now?"
"Oh,
sure, you think that since we're engaged, you can get the milk for free."
She gave him a stern look. "And if you say you're willing to buy the cow,
we're done."
"I'm
not dumb enough to say that." He pulled her along with him as they checked
out more flowers. "I think these are tulips. Just coming up."
"I
remember them blooming all together."
"Me,
too. Maybe it's a bulb thing."
"A
bulb thing?" She laughed. "If we buy a new place, we are so not
getting a big yard. We'll be hopeless."
"Or
if we do, we'll also get a landscaping service."
"Right.
That. I like the deck, though. This lovely view, a nice drink
on a summer night. Maybe a fire pit?"
"A
roof terrace would be nice, too. Have you seen the new places going in at the
Town Center? They look amazing."
"Mmm,
do we have to pick now? Summer seems very far away and I want to enjoy this
moment." She snuggled into him.
"You
cold?"
"Not
when I'm with you." They kissed for a long time, but then she realized she
couldn't feel her fingers. "Okay, I actually am really cold."
"Me,
too." He grabbed her hand and they ran, laughing, to the sliding door.
He
opened it, but before he could go in, she whispered, "Hey, new guy?"
He
started to laugh. "Yeah, that's gonna be a fun nickname. What, affianced
one?"
"When
we're done here, lets go back to your place and break in our couch."
"Break
it in how?" He didn't turn but she could hear the grin in his voice.
"You're
a smart boy. You'll think of something. I mean, we've
got all this sparkage. We should use it right?"
He
turned, his megawatt smile as beautiful as she'd ever seen it. "You're
on."
END
©
2018 by Kim Strattford